It IS Your Fault!


I have HAD it! ENOUGH with the commercials telling me that it’s not my fault.




Does anyone take responsibility for anything any more?

This is crazy!

You can’t lose weight but it’s not your fault.

You can’t find a job and it’s not your fault.

You’re addicted to junk food and it’s not your fault. It’s the potato chip’s fault. Oh. And advertisers. And the evil manufacturers. Probably even the president of the company!

You can’t perform in the bedroom and it’s not your fault.

Your child’s behavior is not your fault.

Your divorce is not your fault.

Your crappy password is not your fault.

Neither is your lousy golf swing.

Even being buried in credit card debt is not your fault.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to blame you for everything that happens to you. Don’t confuse me with the guy who blames the woman who is raped or abused. Don’t think I deny medical evidence of uncontrollable weight issues or physical incapacity. Don’t discount what I have to say because you know people who had ‘this condition’ or ‘that misfortune’…

That’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about being willing to take a little personal responsibility.

Sometimes, when you can’t lose weight, it’s because you don’t really want to lose weight.

Sometimes, when you can’t stop overeating, it’s because you don’t want to stop eating.

Sometimes, when you’re unhappy with the way your body looks, it’s because you’re really not motivated to do anything about it.

Sometimes in life – and I dare say, quite often – it IS your fault!

It’s not because you can’t. It’s because you won’t.

We live at a time when culture and society want to explain away any and every negative experience as just another injustice done to us. We can’t help our reactions. We can justify our actions by what it happening around us or to us.

And none of it is our fault.

Bullshit.  (pardon me)

I’m sick of it.

If you haven’t noticed, we live in a world of propaganda. You have to search for real news. You need to dig deep to evaluate whether what you’re hearing is fact, or someone’s interpretation of what happened, or has been deliberately skewed to make you think a certain way.

Children cannot be trusted with the facts any more. They have to be taught how to think, what to think. Powers of reason are trampled in favor of popular thought.

And when I say children, I’m not limiting the definition to preschoolers and early grade school. Middle school, junior high, high school curricula are peppered with propaganda.

Even colleges and universities trample honest reason and debate.

What’s wrong with us?

Being taught what to think. Personal responsibility takes a back seat to being taken care of… because we can’t take care of ourselves?

Is it possible that we can’t lose weight because we eat too much?

Is it possible I eat too much junk food because I enjoy it?

Is it possible I could learn how the body works and make changes to my lifestyle that can help me get and stay healthier than I’ve ever been in my life?

Can you?

I challenge you to try.

In my early forties, I changed the way I ate. I studied, evaluated, and experimented with every popular diet and “eating plan.” I learned that what and how I ate made a difference. I learned that I could eat what I wanted to eat, within reason, but I also discovered that choosing to eliminate certain types of food from my diet made a significant difference in how I felt.

I changed the way I approached fitness. No more run around the racquetball court for an hour and think I’m in great physical condition. I learned that my concept of cardiovascular exercise as a fitness tool was all wrong. I learned why strength training was not just for meat heads and egomaniacs, but an essential part of long-term health.

I eliminated post-lunch drowsiness, my chronically cold hands and feet, and many minor physical ailments. I didn’t get sick as often. I ate more and felt better than ever. I actually even liked the way parts of my body looked that used to disgust me.

I learned that certain people weren’t born with a good metabolism and that I could even change mine.

And I can change yours, too.

Don’t want to change?

Then maybe it IS your fault.

I’m not always this cold. In fact, ask my clients. I never come across like this working one-on-one with them. But I heard “it’s not your fault” one too many times today.

And I snapped.

Tragedy or Opportunity?


guest post by Jeanna Gabellini

It’s normal to have an emotional reaction when you get “bad” news. When I heard that my brother had an accident while riding his bicycle, I immediately lost my mind. I went to the worst-case scenario. In this instance it was true.

One of my most favorite human beings, J.J., died.

What? My healthy 42-year-old brother, who, last week, I just watched in his softball playoffs, fell over dead while riding his bike during his normal 18-mile route.

What the?! How — and why — could that be?

I decided right then and there that this was going to be the worst day of my life. Yep. Now my life is going to suck. My parents are going to have sad hearts and we’re all screwed. I’ll cry rivers of tears forever. I couldn’t imagine waterskiing, cooking, eating, drinking, laughing and joking without him.

Well, luckily there were some whispers of hope popping into my brain waiting to be noticed.

And then someone helped me articulate my intention. (Thank you, Robin!)

What if this was the best thing that ever happened in my life?

Holy moly. Do I dare think that?

What if I could use this experience to live more fully, peacefully, joyously, lightly and in the moment?

What if I could connect with my brother daily and have his bright perspective at my beck and call anytime I want?

What if I could accept this reality and stop resisting it?

What if I could look back at this time and say it was a positive turning point for me?

Man, that possibility began to turn this tragedy into an opportunity. I’m not saying I’ve dropped the sad thoughts. They come fast and furious. But … with some attention to shifting my energy to the possibility here, I’m making some progress.

I’ve always believed that you can change your life when you shift your perspective. It’s a very active process. When it comes to this type of shift, you don’t decide that it will happen and then everything falls together.

The shift is reliant upon you refocusing your thoughts many times a day. Sometimes, hundreds. I went through this process with money some years back. I was transitioning from debt and lack into having more than enough money to live.

This work is not for the faint of heart (pun not intended). It takes a lot of energy, but the payoff is worth it.

I’m looking forward to having the best time of my life. How about you?

Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who assists high achieving entrepreneurs, corporate leaders & their teams to leverage fun, systems and intentionality for high-octane results. An entrepreneur for 25 years she has a treasure trove of kick-butt tools to give you peace & profits. Get The 5 Keys to Pinpoint your business prescription for more income and joy!

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