Dad is back in the hospital.
Not a fall this time. Not a new complication from the LVAD.
It’s an old issue. Fluid retention.
This is where we started last year. Summer of 2013, to be exact.
I’m pissed off. Pissed off at the pharmacy that didn’t grasp that a man with a weak heart couldn’t wait five days for a prescription to be filled. Pissed off that I wasn’t more proactive on Monday when Mom said CVS still hadn’t filled the prescription for Dad’s diuretic, called in on Friday. Why didn’t I insist that she call elsewhere? Why didn’t I call?
I’m pissed off at myself that I didn’t get more things done on the fitness project I’m working on. I let myself get derailed by a couple of financial matters that needed to get done, but maybe not in the order and at the time I addressed them.
I robbed myself of a couple of precious productive hours.
And pissed off that I couldn’t drag my sorry dupa (Polish slang for the backside) off the couch any sooner than now to put my thoughts down.
I’m pissed off that Dad is now likely to miss Emily’s Sweet 16 party on Saturday.
But amidst all the stress and anxiety, I’m still grateful to have my mom and dad here to talk to. To visit. To help. To have a meal with. To enjoy Mom’s cooking and baking. And her laugh. And Dad’s sense of humor.
How many people can say that their parents just celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary? They are still here — both here — to celebrate.
I’m a blessed, fortunate guy.
Had a discussion this evening with someone who is severely depressed. Recently lost a parent. Sees no joy whatsoever in this life. No feelings. No sense that prayer is important. No sense that life is important.
What do we own? What can we claim as ours, now and forever? Only our thoughts. Only our relationship with God. When all is said and done, that’s all we’ve got, folks.
Everything else besides how we touched other people, how they touched us, and our relationship with our Creator means nothing when it’s time to say goodbye to this life.
When everything around us is hopeless or when we encounter a person who is in hopeless despair, what’s our most powerful method of combating the enemy?
It’s better than sending a check. Or a box of chocolates. Yeah, sometimes the money comes in handy for things that make us more comfortable or for necessities.
But when the need for all of those things are gone, what do we have left? What do any of us have?
Our relationship with our Creator.
And we better be prepared.
In the meantime, we have to live our lives. We should function at the highest level possible, given our station in life, given our income level and skill set.
And yes we need prayer and a strong spiritual life in order to do those things. But we need something more basic, more fundamental for our temporal world.
Take care of your body.
Yes, we need to take care of our minds. But if we neglect this vessel of flesh and blood, it will betray us as we grow older.
We only have so many years on this Earth. Some of what determines that is our genetic predisposition.
But our health and functionality as human beings also depends on lifestyle.
How do you treat your body?
Are you taking care of it?
Are you doing everything you can to keep it operating as efficiently as it can and should be?
How many years do you have left?
Are you prepared for what comes next? After this life?
Are you prepared for the years you have left? Has your lifestyle increased your risk of heart disease or diabetes? What about fluid retention?
What about functional fitness? How prepared are you for a slip on the ice? Could your body hold up against a sudden thud to the ground? How sturdy are your bones? How strong is your heart? How efficient is your cardiovascular system?
Let’s ponder and answer these questions together. For the benefit of the people whose lives we touch. And who touch our lives.
And with that, bedtime. Still exhausted after too little sleep yesterday. Hopefully, these words make sense.