The Morning From Hell, Part 2. Is This A Pattern?

Dear Diary,

Have you got it in for me? Are you jinxing me?

Yesterday was bad enough. What are you trying to do to me?

Up at three again this morning. But unlike yesterday, I was able to fall back asleep today.

Alarm at 4.

Today is January 6. Feast of The Epiphany on the traditional Catholic calendar. EWTN Radio was simulcasting the Mass from St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome, Pope Francis officiating. Mass was about half over by 4, maybe a little more than half. A pleasant way to start the day. Mass was in Latin, so I couldn’t understand everything, but that’s one of the cool things about being a Catholic. Any Mass, any language, any country and we still know what’s going on.

Day here starts as most people’s day starts. Gotta “freshen up.” Didn’t have to shower this morning. Headed directly to LA Fitness for the first official racquetball match of the year. Quick shave, wash the face, move on.

Move on.

Wait.

(Didn’t we do a lot of “wait”-ing yesterday morning? Sighhhhh…..)

Well this morning’s “wait” moment was special.

Pull handle to turn water on. Push handle to turn water off.

Push handle to turn water off.

I said “Push handle to turn water off.”

Perhaps you didn’t hear me. “PUSH HANDLE TO TURN WATER OFF!!!!!”

Water — or more specifically, faucet — doesn’t wish to cooperate. Water doesn’t shut off. Not even to a trickle. I mean, it is literally (not figuratively, Tribe Writers)…

WARNING: INSIDE JOKE…

… it is literally gushing out of the faucet in the off position.

The faucet has been leaking for a while. An annoying trickle. Lately, it’s been a little more than a trickle and there have been a couple of occasions — of course late at night or early in the morning and almost always immediately before we’re about to race out the door — when the trickle has turned into a steady stream. And with the holidays, a repair job was the last thing I wanted to tackle.

Diary, don’t tell let this secret slip. The conservationists will be all over me! Yeah, I know… I’m stealing water from the fish. Yeah, I know… we could use the same analogy my parents made about not wasting food. You know, all those starving children in China (how the heck were those kids going to get my leftovers anyway?), all the people suffering from drought… blah blah blah blah blah. But it wasn’t that much water! The cost in time and effort (and money) did not justify taking immediate action. At least in my mind.

But…

… like yesterday’s “immediate action” required with the oatmeal crisis, this situation called for immediate action. This was real water loss. A real crisis. Cats will have to wait for breakfast. Brushing my teeth will have to wait, too.

And my mood. Mmore than slightly surly. The halo I was wearing moments earlier? Washed down the drain with the water gushing from the “off” faucet.

So today, shortly before 5 AM, I’ve got my plumber’s hat on. Mr. Fit It, as my family affectionately knighted me. And I leave the house with the bathroom faucet in pieces. The final half hour of my morning chores (yes, including brushing my teeth; I used the bathtub faucet) was another panicked rush. The poor cats got the short end of the stick. Oh, they got fed, but Daddy wasn’t his usual jovial self.

The faucet’s repaired now. Life has returned to normal. The fix was about a six minute job, max. Ace Hardware even replaced the faucet cartridge for free. Lifetime warranty. So that was a bonus.

But gee whiz, can we lose the morning drama? My hair is gray enough. And thin enough.

 

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One Response to The Morning From Hell, Part 2. Is This A Pattern?

  1. “How the heck were those kids going to get my leftovers anyway?” HAHAHAHA. Loved this post

    Like

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